“GO AND LOVE SOMEONE EXACTLY AS THEY ARE…! …and then watch how quickly they transform into the greatest, truest version of themselves. When one feels seen and appreciated in their own essence, one is instantly empowered. Never enter into a romance, partnership or friendship with the intention to change somebody. This mindset only sets you up for a rocky road ahead…”
Life has finally taught me and brought me on a conclusion that ‘You cannot make someone love you in the same way you love them’. Before you start loving someone and willing to be loved by them, you should love yourself, firstly.
Discover yourself, be yourself and be proud of yourself of what exactly you are. First learn to celebrate your own individuality, your opinion, your thoughts, your expectations from yourself. Be clear what you want, give worth to your time, understand the worth of your precious time before investing somewhere, so assess; whether will it worth at end?
Remember, Nothing is perfect! Except, the Almighty Allah – The Master of all – The Creator of all.
We all have imperfections, it’s natural. One who thinks or make you think that you have too many imperfections which bothers them, that is the one who is living in the ‘Fool’s Paradise’ – Not you, Not me!
The quote I read recently, will be worth sharing here too at this point:
“We have all heard that no two snowflakes are alike. Each snowflake takes the perfect form for the maximum efficiency and effectiveness for its journey. And while the universal force of gravity gives them a shared destination, the expansive space in the air gives each snowflake the opportunity to take their own path. They are on the same journey, but each takes a different path.
Along this gravity-driven journey, some snowflakes collide and damage each other, some collide and join together, some are influenced by wind... there are so many transitions and changes that take place along the journey of the snowflake. But, no matter what the transition, the snowflake always finds itself perfectly shaped for its journey.
I find
parallels in nature to be a beautiful reflection of grand orchestration. One of
these parallels is of snowflakes and us. We, too, are all headed in the same
direction. We are being driven by a universal force to the same destination. We
are all individuals taking different journeys and along our journey, we
sometimes bump into each other, we cross paths, we become altered... we take
different physical forms. But at all times we too are 100% perfectly imperfect.
At every given moment we are absolutely perfect for what is required for our
journey. I’m not perfect for your journey and you’re not perfect for my
journey, but I’m perfect for my journey and you’re perfect for your journey.
We’re heading to the same place, we’re taking different routes, but we’re both
exactly perfect the way we are.
Think of what
understanding this great orchestration could mean for relationships. Imagine
interacting with others knowing that they too each share this parallel with the
snowflake. Like you, they are headed to the same place and no matter what they
may appear like to you, they have taken the perfect form for their journey. How
strong our relationships would be if we could see and respect that we are all perfectly
imperfect for our journey.”
― Steve Maraboli
Do not try to ‘Edit’ , ‘Alter’ or make yourself ‘Perfect’ on the choice and will of others. Have you ever thought, the sky you are looking since your childhood having a ‘Blue’ color is actually not blue, the sea you believe is blue, is not actually blue, so will you start recoloring it? Absolutely not! Or will you get in believe that they both are ‘Imperfect’? Certainly not!
-
When you are being judged every time on your
imperfections?
-
When your all opinions become invalid for your
other-half?
-
When you are being considered ‘On-mistake’,
without giving a chance to speak!
-
When you are being constantly asked, to get
yourself ‘Changed’?
-
When your other-half is not willing to listen or
understand:
o
your sorrows!
o
your pains!
o
your stress!
o
your worries!
o
your fears!
o
your thoughts!
o
your expectations!
- And when all above matters, labelled as “Your Daily Cries” or “A Frequent Flyer”!
It takes many years to heal the internal damages and stand strong again; but few seconds to crash again!
Well, having said that; it is not true that you choose inappropriate people because you are wrong or not able to understand them, but actually; you love them so desperately that you want them to become appropriate to you or you start considering them your true match. However, they cannot be like what you wanted from them. Despite knowing the fact that they cannot love you in the same manner, you in your own conscience get into believe that you are in relationship/etc, you invest your all love, efforts and attention that you start seeing all their good only even there are too many flaws at their end too, clearly visible.
On other hand, this is to remember, maybe they are not wrong too, but they are not into you like you are into them!
Sometimes, it looks like a relationship but actually is not!
It is, in true essence feel so terrible, painful and sad when you are wanting someone with all your passion and strength, investing all your potentials and willing them to love you in the same manner as you do. May be the person likes you, bit care for you too, available to you, is a friend to you, however, not in position to treat you like the way you treat them or consider them.
Think, you are a pilot, you have to land the plane, but what; the runway keeps moving from here and there or there is a continuous wind burst, will you be able to do it in this situation? No! in same way you keep changing yourself for someone and they keep changing their standards every time you match the previous level as set by them.
It is not love at all, if you have to make too many efforts to get their attention, their love, even a single hug that matters a lot!
There is nothing wrong in you, may be there is some emptiness or their own frustrations that letting them to act like this with you.
Even by all that happening, in the end you don’t stop loving them but you just stop showing it because a time comes when you realize that no matter how much you try it, you are not going to get them as you wanted them.
“Love is an
unconditional commitment to an imperfect person.
To love
somebody isn’t just
A strong
feeling.
It is a
decision..!
A judgement..!
&
A promise…!”
Try to
celebrate true love instead of half-hearted love stories!
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